Saturday, February 16th: My Heart Will Go On… A Boat

My Heart Will Go On… A Boat
Pier 78, Manhattan
10:30pm-3:30am
$20 in advance,

Boarding @ 10:30
Boat departs at MIDNIGHT SHARP booze cruise + dance party
Don’t be late, you’ll miss the boat and the boat will miss you!

Did you totally fuck up on Valentine’s day ? Have to make it up to her ? Took the wife to a nice dinner, but don’t know where to take the mistress? What could possibly be more romantic than getting drunk on a sexy, super well-heated, fully functional river boat lifted straight out of a Huck Finn Themed Casino in Dubai? With three levels, two full sound systems, and two abundantly-stocked bars, come prepared for the plushest party we’ve ever thrown.

Put on your frock coats & vests & cardboard monocles & ascots & stoles & spats, and be prepared to take all that shit off again for insane dancing with…

THE PENDULUM SWINGS
(10-piece swing band featuring Jason Trachtenburg)
$MALL ¢HANGE
(vinyl addict, WFMU/Rubulad)
JORO BORO
(balkan-infused mashup, Black Rock City)
2MELO
(trans-global ghetto bass, Cumba Mela)
TINSELTOWN
(foreign language hip hop, insipid love songs)

And for all you singles out there, when love is a bitch rogue iceburg that gouges your hull open, we know that all you want is to escape to your Titanic-themed junior high school dance. Except this time it’s on a boat, with all your friends, a lot more liquor and way better music. There’s enough room in the lifeboats of our hearts for all you sexy fuckers with activities for the lustful and love-sick including…

Free swing dance lessons at eleven sharp
Affordable drink specials at both swank bars
Oyster shucking and kissing booth
A Musical Chairs / Love Seat Elimination Strip Challenge
A Chocolate Eating Contest, for a fantastic prize, guess what the prize is
Dr. Adventure’s Patent Heart Chakra Shock Therapy
Tantalizing stiptease by Rococo Caine
Manicures, Pedicures, and Mystery Spa Services
Complimentary Mouthwash Jello Shots, to increase your odds and improve your oral hygiene
A thousand luftbaloons balloon drop at midnight because why not
Bonemeal and Earwig Honey

Click here for more cheap New York City events & things to do.