No Pants Country Club
Greenwich Village Country Club (110 University Pl., Manhattan)
$10 cover, 21+
It was a frigid Sunday in early January. Winkel & Balktick woke up and donned their cleanest, most presentable undergarments. Newspapers in hand, they descended to the platform. With surreptitious delight, they boarded the train and stepped into the gaze of perplexed straphangers.
They perused the Sunday paper, pondering Connecticut real estate acquisitions and stock tips. The car began to fill with bare-legged conspirators and they struggled not to let a smile betray their sans pants camaraderie. The Real Estate section gave way to the Sports page and they suddenly realized that the car was empty.
Embarrassed at their lonesome indecency, they quickly exited at the next station. At the top of the stairs, they found themselves not on familiar city streets, but a vast expanse of gentle green hills, leafy trees and sandy dunes. All around them, caddys and linksmen ambled in the sunshine while golf carts whizzed by.
As they opened the door to clubhouse, they suddenly realized there was nary a pair of plaid-clad legs in sight. Champagne and spiked Arnold Palmers flowed like water. They had found it at last… The fabled No Pants Country Club.
Underpants-shaking beats from DJs…
SMALL CHANGE, DIRTYFINGER, DHUNDEE & more TBA.
Giant flying skivvy couture from…
TARA MCMANUS & FRIENDS
Action packed synchronized dance routines with…
MICAH SHEPHARD & THE NO PANTS DANCE SQUAD
THE NO PANTS MASTERS CLASSIC CHAMPIONSHIP MINIGOLF TOURNAMENT
AN OPEN INVITATIONAL
You are hereby invited to participate in The No Pants Masters Classic Championship Tournament. Simply assemble a team of four to six of your finest untrousered compatriots, decide upon a theme, name and uniform and contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Registration costs nothing, and the winner receives a free bottle of champagne.